Is there anything that can be done about this? - #10601

I am 18 years old and a professional figure skater. Recently, I have been experiencing serious difficulties due to my mental state. I was previously diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and ADHD was also suspected. However, I stopped therapy, and since the beginning of this year I have not been in treatment or taking any medication. While on the ice, I sometimes suddenly get overwhelmed emotionally without any clear reason. In these moments, I lose control: I cannot skate properly, I start falling even on elements that are usually stable, and I get strong urges to hurt myself (for example, wanting to hit myself against the ice). This has happened before, but now it is becoming more frequent and more intense. During these episodes, my thoughts also become very dark and heavy. These states can last for several hours or longer. I don’t know how to cope with this or whether it is possible to stabilize or reduce these episodes. In one month, I have an important competition where I need to perform well to achieve a sports title. In my current condition, this feels almost impossible. Could you please advise what this might be and whether there are ways to manage or reduce these symptoms?